Give Me A Reason To Breathe

Give Me A Reason To Breathe

She felt lonely, weak, distressed, pained, neglected, rejected…
All negative emotions were taking over her. Overpowering her. She reached out to call her friend. The phone went unanswered. A missed call. She wanted someone with whom she could confide. She wanted someone to hear her out. But no one seemed to be available. She felt she was sinking. Emptiness ensued.

She flipped through the channels, trying to divert her mind so as to not let her emotions get the better of her. The screen flashed with ping from a stranger appreciating her writing and telling her how her writing gave her hope – a silver lining as she battled through cancer. How every day and night she would wait for her post, and she wanted to know why she hadn’t posted today. If everything was okay? Ah! Someone cared. That feeling crept within. Her writings had given hope to a cancer survivor. She began chatting with her, inquiring what this lady had been through. Chemotherapy – hair loss – pain – anxiety, and all the other little trauma that went with it all. A fighter instinct? Yes, she hadn’t given up. She felt a strong surge of emotion witnessing this woman’s battle that would have been lost due to the sickness, but was won because of survival mode in part caused by her words. This stranger had taught her that life isn’t easy. At times it was cruel, crushing you, pushing you to a limit where you feel no one’s there for you. Depressing, feeling the need to die.  No one to wipe away the tears that flow. It’s you alone. Just you. No one really cares. No one is concerned. No one notices, being busy enjoying their own lives. To be healthy in mind, body, soul, and spirit matters. Nothing else matters. Nothing! This world is fake with people sharing fake smiles, filtered images, false names, and profiles, all compelling you to believe. Everything is picture-perfect. All is well. So superficial and pretentious!!!

No one has the guts to confess, “I’m in a dire situation. I’m in need of a shoulder to cry on. Yes, I am in need of a friend. Why?  Because fear grips me.” Fear of being jeered upon. Fear that if I share that I’m going through depression, isolation, loneliness, anxiety, no one is willing to give time for their woes. All want positivity. Seriously, can everyone be positive all the time! Isn’t there a time when you feel sad and lonely? When you don’t have the energy to go on? When you feel like you’re all by yourself?  Alone, trying to sink and in deep, needing someone to pull you to shore. But fear of losing your so-called followers and friends makes you showcase a picture-perfect of you all the time. What’s the use to have followers and friends if you can’t reach out to anyone when you are lonely and sad?  So she made a vow to herself. She’d post her true emotions even if her followers declined and left her. She won’t hide but be true to herself and her followers. She’d be true always!

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